"Ocean Plaza", spices and shark ears

Gennady Korban

Kyiv. A nice sunny day.

I happened to pass by the scandalous shopping center, the one where a tiger shark almost died a couple of years ago - Ocean Plaza.

Went in, looked around - nothing like that. Big, spacious, I liked it. Recently, he is often mined by telephone maniacs.

Sometime in the summer of last year, I also called here, but for a different reason. Then the Crimean crooks announced a large-scale nationalization of the peninsula. At one of the meetings of the so-called Council of Crimea, prinmade a decision to take away, including, my hotels in Yalta. I didn't think long, I called the manager of the Ocean Plaza shopping center and offered to prepare the keys and all legal documents for the shopping center - to hand them over to my lawyers.

The manager (I don't remember his name, but he is clearly an educated man) asked me on what basis I was making such demands. I politely explained: there was a problem with my property in Crimea, and therefore I decided to make an asymmetric response - to receive as compensation a shopping center belonging to citizens Rottenberg - V. Putin's closest friends.

- How is that? – my interlocutor clarified.

- I don't care - how your owners will hold a reckoning with the so-called leadership of Crimea, - I said, cutting off the dialogue.

More than six months have passed, but no one has come to my hotels.

And after I resigned from the post of deputy governor, literally the next day strong Crimean guys came and described my Crimean property.

Today, I realized that this is fate, and it was not by chance that I ended up in this spacious shopping center. After all, Ukraine is at war, and Russian business feels comfortable and warm in our country. It's time for the authorities to do something about it.

However, some have assets in the Russian Federation, and for this reason, probably, decisions are not made.

Well, while our government is thinking, I would like to address Mr. Rottenberg: I ​​must note that I will be forced to use the entire arsenal of effective methods of changing owners, which I received, so to speak, in my previous life. I promised myself to give them up a long time ago, but I will make one exception. Separately, I would like to emphasize that our asymmetrical settlement with you has nothing to do with the infringement of the rights of the "Russians". With us, Messrs. Rottenberg, everything will be purely Jewish. You must remember, in the Torah it is written: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I think that even English justice can accept this as an argument, but it is necessary to consult.

PS I am writing all this to you while standing by the aquarium. There is a shark in it, even two. They fell silent at the bottom. Good, small, still alive. In the end, I will give them to Damien Hirst - let him drown in formalin.