Become a dating master: 4 habits that work for everyone — tested by psychologists!

07.10.2025 0 By Chilli.Pepper

In a world where Tinder has become a second family and romantic dinners often end in awkward silence, there are those who conquer hearts without nerves or “expert advice.” Why do “natural” successful daters use simple skills — and how can you master them without spending thousands of hryvnias on training?

1. They say “yes” to dating through friends, rather than running away from “matchmakers”

Most people avoid dates arranged by friends: it seems like an invasion of private space. 1
But instead, it turns out that your friends are the best matchmakers. Research from Stanford University shows that acquaintances through friends most often become “the ones.”
Also, a common topic (“party,” “childhood friends”) breaks up the awkward tension on a first date. And talking about a mutual acquaintance is a natural starting point that saves you from feeling awkward.

2. They call before a date, not “chat”

After the era of instant messaging, almost everyone is used to asking out on dates via text. Psychology, meanwhile, says: “The one who calls has a better chance of becoming an exception among the gray mass.”
A live voice creates an emotional bridge, and a short conversation gives the feeling of a “real person,” not just an avatar. 1

If you want to leave a lasting impression and save yourself the hassle of explaining things, just make a call. It's a simple act of ingenuity that is almost always appreciated.

3. They choose a place where there will be no unnecessary noise — and they never go to a loud bar

Meeting at a crowded food court, a loud bar, or a noisy restaurant risks making a pleasant conversation impossible.
A “natural” dater chooses a quiet space: this allows you to hear each other, notice non-verbal cues (smile, eye expression), see fine details, and find common ground more quickly without unnecessary “chaos.” 1

In silence, you show true empathy, not just “party madness.”

4. They don't talk badly about their exes — and they don't look for easy criticism.

The worst first date trap is to start discussing the failures of your past relationships.
Psychological research proves that a “meager word” about an ex-partner leaves a shadow on a new relationship.
If you like to criticize, your partners will "run away" not because you are ugly, but because you are looking for negativity. 1

Successful gentlemen maintain a balance: if you have nothing good to say, it's better to keep quiet. This protects the space for new emotions, rather than repeating old grievances.

What does a perfect date look like in detail?

  • Light conversation about interesting facts from life;
  • A question about dreams — not about “plans for tomorrow”;
  • Walks instead of noisy dinners;
  • Just one photo from the evening to keep the intrigue alive;
  • Talking about the present, not about the past or exes;
  • Allow yourself some self-irony, but don't turn everything into a joke.

The main thing is natural contact and the absence of “aggressive testing” or evaluation.
People want to feel at ease with you — not like they're in an interview, but like they're in the company of an old friend.
Enough practice: the real habit of successful daters is mindfulness and simplicity.

Sarcastic observer about dating

You are not Mr. Big, not the “beloved Tinder god.” You are a person who is willing to ask “what do you like for breakfast?” and not ask for a PIN from the bottom of your heart on the first meeting.
The art of a good date is not in texting or a new hairstyle, but in the ability to listen, smile, and not chase the "bookish ideal."
Real magic begins where you allow yourself to make mistakes and your partner to be themselves.

Sources

Show list
  1. YourTango: The Art Of A Good Date: 4 Simple Habits Of Naturally Good Daters 1

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